Are you prepared to navigate conflict in your workplace?
Conflict is everywhere – around the globe, at the capital, in your city, at the local gas station this morning, and probably at your office (whether it’s in-person, hybrid or virtual). Recent surveys show that managers are using all of their conflict resolution muscles and more to combat simmering disagreements between team members. And that simmering pot isn’t going anywhere.
Are your new leaders and managers prepared? Probably not. Do they know how to engage in meaningful conflict? Or facilitate it with others?
No one is born with skills in conflict resolution. It is a skill that is learned over time, and your new managers and leaders need concentrated skill-building and coaching opportunities to grow in this area, or it’s going to eat them alive. Good leaders know this and make it part of their leadership toolkit; bad leaders ignore conflict resolution and pay the price, personally and for their teams.
Everyone likes to feel heard, seen, and respected…whether you agree with them or not. Below are just a few pointers that are helpful as we all grow.
Set the Stage (Accomplishes shared expectations and meaning.)
What are your boundaries? What are their boundaries?
Does your group have touchstones/community agreements/group norms that describe the behavioral expectations for your team?
How are you going to frame the conversation? What is the purpose of the conversation?
Where will it take place? For how long? When? In-person or virtual?
Invite Participation (Accomplishes confidence that their voice is welcome.)
How do you know if the team member feels that they are being acknowledged?
What do you do when you need to call out behavior that goes against your team’s community agreements/touchstones?
Is everyone being held accountable to the same degree?
I know this can seem like a lot to digest and to implement. If you are interested, I would love to talk with you about providing a customized training for your new managers and leaders in the upcoming months. Call me at (803) 920-1736 to schedule a time to talk.
As you know, I LOVE the Olympics. The pageantry, the competition, the reward for years of tireless practice and labor…the ups and the downs. What the athletes in these various events accomplish is truly awe-inspiring.
We hear constantly about the dedication and hours…even years…of practice it takes to get to this level of perfection in a sport. The sacrifices made, the injuries pushed through, and the disappointments suffered are all a well-known part of the process. We recognize and even celebrate those as part of the medal-winning formula. But never forget that success for one person is often built on the foundation of many helping hands.
What about all these behind-the-scenes heroes? The parents who drove those athletes to 5:00 am practice sessions in the dead of winter. The siblings attending untold numbers of competitions to cheer on that brother or sister who otherwise drove them bonkers. The unnamed coaches who caught sight of – and nurtured – a glimmer of talent in a squirrely-headed eight-year-old. The high school, college and professional coaches combining to hone raw talent into world-class skills. And even the parents or coaches or friends who were honest enough to say “You lost because that just wasn’t your best effort. You haven’t been concentrating or working hard enough. How badly do you want it??” True success is built on more than mere boosterism. It always includes a hefty dose of brutal honesty and accountability.
There are stand-out stars in your organization, I’m certain. But there are also far more behind-the-scenes heroes. Make sure that you look for and recognize them. No trophies or medals needed. A simple “Thank you…I needed to hear that (or be held accountable)” is enough.
In the summer, I think there’s nothing like a good hot dog with chili, coleslaw, and some shredded cheese. In addition to tasting fabulous, sometimes a good chili dog teaches you a lesson (other than don’t wear a white shirt while eating it!). Just this past week, I was making our homemade hot dog chili, and an incredible revelation hit me. You see, I had all of the ingredients – lean ground beef, yellow onion, garlic, chili powder, mustard, etc. – but I could not make the chili. There was no ketchup to be found anywhere in our kitchen. No Heinz. No Hunts. No house brand even. Nada. No ketchup, no chili. It only takes a cup and a half for my recipe, but it’s an essential ingredient with no substitute. And then it hit me….what I was staring at looks like a lot of organizational teams. They have the people, the plans, and even their “special differentiating factors” but they are missing the one crucial ingredient needed to make things work. They’re a chili recipe with no ketchup.
As I see it, the ketchup for groups is protected time to implement plans and new changes. You see, without the ketchup (and you really don’t need that much) you do not have hot dog chili. Groups need protected time – time when they don’t have a meeting, a phone call, a looming deadline, or whatever, to actually implement the work that has been decided. It doesn’t take a lot – I think for most groups if you just gave folks a day and a half of protected time to process the proposed changes, discuss new goals and objectives, call some key individuals to figure out what is needed, or update key documents with new work flows, you would get to effective implementation a lot quicker. If you don’t, your organizational team is likely to wander around without really accomplishing what you all hoped for.
So, this summer, I encourage you to make some hot dog chili with your team (for real and metaphorically). Dust off the plans and give folks protected time and space to move some ideas closer to the finish line. I promise you’ll enjoy the results.
If anyone knows me or ISI Consulting, you know we take great pride in never (or almost never) doing the same thing with a group or organization. I don’t ever want to be considered a “one-trick pony” facilitator. That’s just unfair for everyone. It’s painful for a group who experienced that same activity a year ago to be forced to do it all again. And it would be just plain boring for me.
However, I have found myself using the same open-ended question for lots of groups lately and I’m not tired of it yet. And the groups I’ve used it with have found this question extremely helpful. So, what is it? “What conversation, if begun today, could ripple out and create new possibilities for the future of ___________?” That blank could be women leaders in higher education, philanthropic funders, dental hygienists…whatever! You fill in the blank, and then just let folks go. I promise you will be amazed and encouraged by what comes out of your group. The wisdom it needs is already present and accessible. What are you hearing? What contributions are emerging? What ideas are beginning to connect? What new possibilities are you noticing?
I encourage you to use the Ripple Question at your next team meeting, staff retreat, board meeting or even with your small group of confidants. This question alone can fill 30 minutes, or even an hour, of time with worthwhile discussion. To start, I like to have small groups (no more than 7 participants) wrestle with the question. Then I move to a medium-sized group (about 14 participants), before bringing all the themes together with the entire group. This ensures everyone’s voice is heard and helps keep the groups focused.
You don’t need to hire a consultant to help you start thinking strategically as a team. You simply need to carve out time and space for reflection. Then use the open-ended Ripple Question for your team to engage in, ponder over, and explore. But, hey…if you do need a consultant to help get your team back on track or moving forward to the next level, I can help with that, too. Give me a call today, and let’s make a plan.
The Goldilocks Rule states that humans experience peak motivation when working on tasks that are right on the edge of their current abilities. Ones that are not too hard. Not too easy. But just right.
A task or goal that is too easy doesn’t provide any challenge and quickly becomes a chore. And we all know how easy it is to put off chores. (Reorganizing your closet, anyone??) If something is so hard that you can’t see any immediate improvement or progress at all, you’ll simply quit. Your brain knows you can find something easier to accomplish, and brains love the dopamine rush that comes with accomplishment. So how do you find that just right task? Many experts refer to these as stretch goals…something that’s a little beyond our current skills, but something we can envision accomplishing.
For example, several years ago, I decided to run a half-marathon. A bit over thirteen miles. I was a casual jogger at the time, and certainly not ready for that distance. That’s when I realized interim goals are crucial. I didn’t start out running 10 miles a day. I started by running around the block in my neighborhood. Then I ran two houses further. Then five houses further. Then another block. Then another mile. I could see progress, and that kept me motivated. Always remember to include some interim goals in your skill-building plans.
Mastery requires practice. There’s no way around this. Studies have shown that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to master something like playing the piano or ice skating or graphic design. You can have raw talent, but practice is what turns talent into skill. Practice trains your brain and muscles until they work together like a well-oiled machine. As the old saying goes, “practice makes perfect.” Practice lets you do something without having to think about every step in the process. There’s just one challenge…practice can be boring. And boredom is perhaps the greatest villain on the quest for self-improvement. Lack of practice is why many people with plenty of raw talent fail to achieve their goals or significant success. People who master anything have found a way to make practice rewarding, even if it might not be fun. They’ve found a way to beat practice boredom.
So how do we keep boredom at bay? We fall in love with it. We become endlessly fascinated by doing the same thing over and over. We deliberately look for those small improvements or changes that mean progress. Are those piano scales getting easier to play? Do your fingers move faster over the keys? Do you miss fewer notes? Do you notice your workout getting a little easier each day? Can you lift a bit more weight this week than you could before? Progress equals success.
Of course, it never hurts to vary your routine a bit. I don’t jog the same route every day. Sometimes I listen to music while running…other times I listen to a podcast. Or simply enjoy a lovely day and soak in my surroundings. Whenever you’re working on a task or skill that’s just a little bit challenging, remember to switch things up now and again to keep boredom at bay. You do you. But whatever you do, find a way to identify and focus on those tasks that are just hard enough. Like Goldilocks, you’ll find what’s just right.
Almost since the beginning of time, seasons have regulated our lives. Planting and harvest, heat and cold, flood and drought marked time for millennia. And we humans marked each of those seasons with particular holidays that reflected the rhythm of life. Sadly, in our fast-paced, always-on modern lives, we seem to rush nonstop from season to season, holiday to holiday. We race from Halloween to Christmas with hardly a pause. But I think it’s crucial to resist the rush and take the time to truly enjoy…Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving – for all the “gobble till you wobble” hype – is the holiday built around gratitude, reflection, and appreciation. I know that for a lot of us, 2023 has been a challenge. Inflation is up, budgets are tight, and news from around the world is almost all bad. It can make us want to jump headfirst into the joy, hope, and excitement that Christmas brings.
I want to encourage you to acknowledge that Christmas is on the horizon, but let it come in its own time. Refrain from rushing the season, and let Thanksgiving have its time center stage. Why? Because I’m convinced that taking a deliberate pause to appreciate life’s blessings will change your heart and mind. Find joy in the simplicity of Thanksgiving traditions…pulling out that special turkey platter, making dressing from your grandmother’s recipe, welcoming someone new to the family table. Take time to build some new traditions that foster connection, gratitude, and reflection to create lasting memories. Many people use a gratitude list or cards to spark conversations around the table. Snap fun photos and actually print them out to frame and have as keepsakes. Or haul out an old family photo album and share memories with everyone. Finally, reflect on the past year and your personal and professional growth, acknowledging the fruits of your efforts. You’ve worked hard over the past months, and although I’m sure there have been challenges, you’ll be surprised at the many victories you’ve achieved.
Savor Thanksgiving for its unique qualities of appreciation, gratitude, and reflection. In doing so, you’ll cultivate a deeper sense of fulfillment and prepare yourself to fully embrace the joys of Christmas. You’ll be glad you made the effort to resist the rush.
“One and Done” can mean a lot of things. It can refer to a college basketball star who just played their freshman year before heading to the NBA. It might be something you do so well the first time that you never need or want to do it again. (Marriage, yes…sweeping your kitchen floor, no.) Some people use the term for a workout that gets you permanently in shape in just one week, Oreos not included.
At ISI Consulting “One and Done” is all about our one day workshops. We do a LOT of them, with organizations small and large. ONE DAY, you might wonder? Just how much can you accomplish? A great deal, it turns out. Especially if you’re working with experts in problem-solving.
If you’re struggling to solidify your goals and objectives, make a concrete decision and then implement an action plan, or switch directions based on changes that have impacted your organization, you can make significant headway in just one day. If you need to develop quality training on communication, priority-setting, or quality improvement to bring your team to the next level, one day will get you well on your way to success.
There’s just one thing you need to remember…if you could have done this on your own, you already would have. Even in the best of organizations, sometimes you just get stuck. And then it takes an outside expert to get your team back on track. We’re just the experts you need, so why should you waste any more time. Call today, and let’s get this “One and Done!”
Reach out directly to Holly Hayes at 803-920-1736 or holly@sharpertogether.com. We can quickly schedule a brief discovery call and get your “One and Done” on the calendar.
Stay Sharp,
Holly Hayes, President & Founder ISI Consulting
PS – Check out our updated Who We Are section on our website.
Feel free to forward this on to someone you think needs a One-Day Workshop!
We know you can’t do this alone. If you could have, you already would have. You need an outsider’s invaluable insights to help sharpen your vision, hone your team’s skills, and map out a plan for action. Someone who provides the spark that gets you fired up and moving. We can do just that. And once we’ve gotten you moving in the right direction, we’ll be out the door…so you can stay busy advancing your mission.That’s how ISI Consulting accomplishes success.
Inclusive participation matters. There is a mound of research that shows that engagement drives greater productivity, ownership and work quality. What are you doing to include and engage everyone to unleash problem solving in your organization? What are you doing to advance innovation and achieve those aspirational outcomes?
I know, it’s August. Summer is winding down. Vacations are over. School is starting back. And it’s still HOT. But guess what…August is the perfect time to dig deep and make small shifts in your meetings, interactions and engagement with your partners. I’m not asking for monumental change as we close out summer…I’m just asking for all of us to see what we can do to amplify the wisdom of others in the room. Because small shifts now can reap great benefits in September and beyond.
Below is a list of ten principles of inclusive engagement for you to consider. Which one do you want to experiment with in August? Just try one and see if it doesn’t improve your organization in some significant way.
I’d love to hear about your successes. But if you are struggling with one of these, the ISI team would be excited to help you. Set up a time for a chat and we’ll provide you with a FREE tool or resource to help you out. Thanks for being a partner and friend to ISI Consulting.
I’ve been without two key team players for the last two weeks. Good ole’ summer vacations have come around and I’ve been left with lots of tasks that I don’t normally do. Let’s just say that I may have used some colorful language on the printer, scanner, laptop…and even the ice maker this week. Yes, I know that yelling at inanimate objects isn’t productive, but somehow it made me feel better.
I’ve been doing some tasks this week that I haven’t done in the last three years plus…and man, I’m glad that I have. You see, my perspective on the complexity of a task and how long it should theoretically take has shrunk over time. I have been diminishing tasks and underappreciating all that goes into moving something from a requested task to a completed task. I had lost perspective.
Will Guidara (2022) says this so well. “Perspective has an expiration date, no matter how hard you try to hold on to it.” I needed to tap back into what it means to be the administrative assistant, project manager, video editor, social media coordinator, data analyst, and…the roles go on…and on…and on. I had lost a valuable viewpoint for the very people I was managing.
I absolutely want us to be super-focused on scaling our businesses and organizations. That is important (and probably is in your strategic plan). However, let’s scale our business without losing perspective in the process. Your organization cannot run without the valuable individuals in the office and working remotely – without subcontractors, freelancers (go Fiverr), vendors, volunteers, and even the occasional family member. We’ll all be better managers and leaders if we take time to gain, or regain, some real-world perspective. I don’t mean just reading about it. I mean blocking off some time on your calendar and getting your hands dirty. Do some jobs you usually delegate. Let’s all dig in and remember that our best recollections and memories of a task are probably out of date, and we need to get some fresh perspective. Your team members are really going to thank you!
